Auto-Immunization

I know anticipatory grief – a feeling of loss before a death or dreaded event occurs – far too well. My mother suffered from probable Alzheimer’s disease and I was her caregiver for nine years. As time passed she lost the ability to reason, track numbers, read a book, understand TV, create sentences, and finally, the ability to speak.

Every time I was with her I wanted to cry.

Anticipatory grief is a hard journey and nobody can take it for us. Some experts think anticipatory grief is worse than post-death grief because we’re always on alert, waiting for the end to come. Grieving people wear black arm bands in some cultures. I wish I was wearing an arm band when I saw a friend at the grocery store.

“Hi Harriet, how are you?” she asked. Had I been truthful I would have said I felt awful. But I didn’t say that I said, “Fine, how are you?” Why don’t we talk about anticipatory grief? There are lots of reasons.

- Most people have never heard the term, so we would have to stop and explain it.

- We fail to see the anticipatory grief in our lives or the power it has over us.

- If we shared our feelings we would break down and sob.

- Our family culture prevents us from being open with others.

- People may think we’re weak and lack “backbone.”

- Funny stories are what people want to hear, not sad ones.

- We’re afraid people will avoid us.

Some years ago our family was struck by one crisis after another. My husband and I became known as the sad news couple. Many people didn’t want to hear our news for fear they would catch it like a bad cold. In their minds anticipatory grief was a contagious disease.

But I’m a grandmother now, older, wiser, and more resilient. Life experience has given me the courage to say, “I’m having an anticipatory grief day.”

Chances are you’ve had anticipatory grief days, too. Maybe you’re grieving for a child with chronic illness, a job shift, moving out of the home you loved, your retirement date, a dying pet, or a parent in hospice. I hope you’ll learn from my experience and tell people you’re going through anticipatory grief.

We grieve because we care. Anticipatory grief shapes our lives, helps to define who we are, and who we were meant to be. Let’s talk about it.

Copyright 2005 by Harriet Hodgson. For more information on her work please go to www.harriethodgson.com.

Harriet Hodgson has been a nonfiction writer for 26 years and is a member of the Association of Health Care Journalists. Her latest book, Smiling Through Your Tears: Anticipating Grief, written with Lois Krahn, MD, is available on http://www.amazon.com. Hodgson is hard at work on her next book, Doctor in the House: An Inside Look at Medical Marriage.

“The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”

One of the biggest obstacles to personal and career success is anger. When we fail to control our anger, we suffer several blows:

• Anger impedes our ability to be happy, because anger and happiness are incompatible.

• Anger sends marriages and other family relationships off-course.

• Anger means lost business, because it destroys relationships.

• Anger also means losing business that you could have won in a more gracious mood.

• Anger leads to increased stress (ironic, since stress often increases anger).

• We make mistakes when we are angry, because anger makes it harder to process information.

People are beginning to wake up to the dangers of anger and the need for anger management programs and strategies. Many people find anger easy to control. Yes, they do get angry. Everybody does. But some people find anger easier to manage than others. More people need to develop anger management skills.

For those who have a tough time controlling their anger, an anger management plan might help. Think of this as your emotional control class, and try these self-help anger management tips:

Ask yourself this question: “Will the object of my anger matter ten years from now?” Chances are, you will see things from a calmer perspective.

Ask yourself: “What is the worst consequence of the object of my anger?” If someone cut in front of you at the book store check-out, you will probably find that three minutes is not such a big deal.

Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Come on, admit that you sometimes cut in front of another driver, too … sometimes by accident. Do you get angry at yourself?

Ask yourself this question: “Did that person do this to me on purpose?” In many cases, you will see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.

Try counting to ten before saying anything. This may not address the anger directly, but it can minimize the damage you will do while angry.

Try some “new and improved” variations of counting to ten. For instance, try counting to ten with a deep slow breathe in between each number. Deep breathing — from your diaphragm — helps people relax.

Or try pacing your numbers as you count. The old “one-steamboat-two-steamboat, etc.” trick seems kind of lame to me. Steamboats are not the best devices to reduce your steam. How about “One-chocolate-ice-cream-two-chocolate-ice-cream”, or use something else that you find either pleasant or humorous.

Visualize a relaxing experience. Close your eyes, and travel there in your mind. Make it your stress-free oasis.

One thing I do not recommend is “venting” your anger. Sure, a couple swift blows to your pillow might make you feel better (better, at least, than the same blows to the door!), but research shows that “venting” anger only increases it. In fact, speaking or acting with any emotion simply rehearses, practices and builds that emotion.

If these tips do not help at all and you still feel you cannot manage your anger and the related stress, you may need some professional help, either in the form of a therapist specializing in anger management or a coach with a strong background in psychology.

About The Author

David Leonhardt is the Happy Guy (http://TheHappyGuy.com), author of “Climb your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/happiness-self-help-book.html For more tips on controlling anger, boosting self-esteem, expressing gratitude and reducing stress, pick up a copy of The Get Happy Workbook (http://TheHappyGuy.com/happiness-workbook.html)

Info@TheHappyGuy.com

I want to start by defining what anger is. It is important to make it clear that everyone experiences anger. It is an emotion and temporary in nature. Anger involves physiological as well as emotional arousal. Like any emotion, it ranges in intensity. It also ranges in frequency and durance. People express anger in all sorts of ways; many are likely to lead to negative health consequence, lost jobs, damaged relationships, and even possibly legal consequences.

I want to specifically discuss rage, which is an extreme, intense and potentially disabling expression of anger leading to aggressive behavior. Uncontrollable blow ups are common in people who have maladaptive ways of coping with emotions. There are steps you can take to eliminate rage. A rage eliminator strategy involves the following steps.

1. Recognize that rage holds roots in your expectations about how other people “should” behave.
2. This one is tough, but people will at some time “fail” to live up to your expectations.
3. In these moments of disappointment, your feelings are likely to be hurt.
4. Rather than express disappointment or hurt you may “stuff” your feelings down.
5. In this unresolved state you convert disappointment to resentment and ultimately rage by telling yourself things such as “how dare he/she…”
6. If you maintain this unproductive conversation with your self you will likely lead to feelings of self pity.

7. When you feel sorry for your self you may begin to tell yourself that this kind of thing “always” happens. This contributes to a feel of being a “victim”.
8. Feeling like a victim it becomes easier to talk yourself into such things as “I’ll show him/her”. “I’ll let them have it”.
9. Once you have given your permission to “retaliate” is when rageful behavior can occur.
10. In the aftermath you may feel guilty about your rageful display. This can lead to a mixture of feeling crummy about yourself and continuing to feel resentful toward the other person for “doing it to me”.

If you are a rager, your cycle may be slightly different. However, you can learn the specifics of your cycle. It is hard work, but the long term pay off is worth it. You can learn to alter your expectations of other people and learn to express yourself more effectively when you are feeling hurt or disappointed.

Here are some quick rage busting ideas:

1. Write down some of your past rageful displays. You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. With each incident include initially a three column technique. First is the situation. Second is what you were saying to yourself about this situation. Third is your resulting emotion and behavior.

2. Next think about each incident and connect with the “subtler” emotions you felt at the time, such as hurt or disappointment.

3. Then write down how these feelings relate to your expectations for others. Related to this, include some of the “worst fears” you have about relationships. Do you fear humiliation? Do you fear the person will leave you? Do you think people will think poorly about you? Rejection? Imperfection?

4. Identify the likelihood of your worst fears. Also identify what that would mean if the worst fear actually happened. You will likely conclude that it would be undesirable, but not the terrible life ending, devastating thing you had imaged.

5. Identify things you could say to yourself to to keep from converting feelings of hurt to feeling of rage.

6. Practice in your mind past incidents where you blew up. However, this time bring yourself to the point before you blew up and use self talk strategies to work this situation through more effectively. Mental rehearsal is a power strategy. It is used by top athletes to rehearse successful performances. It is can also be used as a way of “retraining” yourself to think, feel and behave in different ways. Practice this strategy frequently.

7. Write a list of people you need to have a conversation of responsibility with about your past actions. Remember, an apology or statement of responsibility is more effective when you have created and maintained change for a time.

Sincerely,

Dr. Mike Davison
http://www.PartnersInPurpose.com
http://www.PartnersInPurpose.Blogspot.com

If you have any questions about individualized consultation or
coaching to help you live your big dream, please do not hesitate
to contact me at mike@PartnersInPurpose.com .

Copyright, 2006. http://www.PartnersInPurpose.com
All rights reserved. For more information, contact:
Dr. Mike Davison
3295 N. Arlington Heights Rd. Suite 103
Arlington Heights, IL 60004
Telephone: (800) 470-3257
mike@PartnersInPurpose.com

You ever been tricked into attending a multilevel marketing sales recruiting meeting? It starts out something like this; “I have this great new business I want to explain to you and you to be very good at it because you have all the right personal qualities.” As soon you go to meeting you find out all the great reasons why someone needs to do their own business.

They talk about Ray Crock from McDonald’s and all the great entrepreneurs of all time. They talk about your income, retirement and the fact that Social Security will not be available to you. They tell you about 95 percent of the people are either dead or broke at age 60 and that this awaits you unless you do something and take action in your life.

Of course this whole time you are thinking yes, yes, yes and then they ask you if you might be interested in the business of your own, which will prevent this from happening to you. Pretty sneaky isn’t it? Interesting considering that they haven’t even told you what the business is yet or what you will be doing or what your mission is. What a bunch of crap.

Now then, did you know that international terrorist cells use the same methods to recruit people of lower IQ. They look for weak individuals with no self-esteem who are afraid of the future and then they play upon those fears in order to recruit them. They even have sponsors and the sponsors help the new recruits by pumping them up and telling them about their part of the greater cause now.

Eventually they convince the international terrorist recruit to commit to strapping a bomb to themselves and blow themselves up. Of course only a moron would do that or someone who has no manhood. But the recruit does not even stop think that he is merely being used. There are so many similarities to how these multi-level marketing companies and international terrorist operate indeed. Consider this in 2006.

“Lance Winslow” – Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/

Social phobia, also called social anxiety disorder, involves overwhelming anxiety and excessive self-consciousness in everyday social situations. People with social phobia have a persistent, intense, and chronic fear of being watched and judged by others and being embarrassed or humiliated by their own actions.

Their fear may be so severe that it interferes with work or school, and other ordinary activities. While many people with social phobia recognize that their fear of being around people may be excessive or unreasonable, they are unable to overcome it. They often worry for days or weeks in advance of a dreaded situation.

Social phobia can be limited to only one type of situation- such as a fear of speaking in formal or informal situations, or eating, drinking, or writing in front of others-or, in its most severe form, may be so broad that a person experiences symptoms almost anytime they are around other people. Social phobia can be very debilitating-it may even keep people from going to work or school on some days. Many people with this illness have a hard time making and keeping friends.

Physical symptoms often accompany the intense anxiety of social phobia and include blushing, profuse sweating, trembling, nausea, and difficulty talking. If you suffer from social phobia, you may be painfully embarrassed by these symptoms and feel as though all eyes are focused on you. You may be afraid of being with people other than your family.

People with social phobia are aware that their feelings are irrational. Even if they manage to confront what they fear, they usually feel very anxious beforehand and are intensely uncomfortable throughout. Afterward, the unpleasant feelings may linger, as they worry about how they may have been judged or what others may have thought or observed about them.

Social phobia affects about 5.3 million adult Americans.1 Women and men are equally likely to develop social phobia. The disorder usually begins in childhood or early adolescence, and there is some evidence that genetic factors are involved.11 Social phobia often co-occurs with other anxiety disorders or depression. Substance abuse or dependence may develop in individuals who attempt to “self-medicate” their social phobia by drinking or using drugs. Social phobia can be treated successfully with carefully targeted psychotherapy or medications.

Depression and anxiety is said to be the cause of uncontrolled anger. When a person is constantly worried about things they have no control over it often causes depression. If you feel , there is no hope you can be feeling low.

If you feel that your world is falling apart and you are probably thinking negative, maybe angry and this can lead to depression and anxiety. First, let us take a look at your symptoms. Do you feel like you are going out of your mind? Uncontrolled anger outbursts at any opportunity ?

Do you feel like someone is out to get you? Do you think people view you as a crazy person? If you are suffering any one or all of these symptoms or thoughts then you could be in the process of suffering anxiety and depression.

You will probably explode,and your anger bursts. Review all the problem areas carefully to see if there are answers to your problems. Reviewing often opens doors to resources you may have overlooked. If you feel like someone is out to get you then you might have a chemical imbalance or a mental illness.

Why not visit a mental health expert to learn more about your symptoms and find a way to gain control. Anxiety and depression will play tricks with your mind and sometimes your thinking is a result of a chemical imbalance. Remember that most people have their own problems and won’t be wondering too much about you !

When you walk into a room and think that people are staring at you, you might want to remember that people observe things around them, doing exactly the same and feeling much the same. When times are difficult it does not mean it is the end of the world although sometimes it may seem this way.

If you are struggling to pay bills, fighting to hold a family together, or having difficulty with your children then remember we all have this problem at some time in our lives. Are your children driving you to angry outbursts ? Take a break, or exercise. This relieves stress that leads to anxiety, depression and anger.

Don not worry about the things you have or do not have control over. If you have problems, the answers are within you. If you are struggling to reach goals then you might want to break your goals down to smaller segments and work slowly to achieve. If you set goals within reason, you will succeed.It is important to pamper your self each day.

Learn some coping relaxation response techniques that benefit both your mind and body. If you feel overwhelmed, you might want to inhale and exhale breaths for up to 10 counts. Curl up on a couch and watching a favorite movie,let your thoughts go.

Focus on what you are doing instead of worrying about what you are not doing. This often clears the mind and helps you to relax. If you subject your self to anger, you will most likely have difficulties for the remaining of your life until you learn to take control of your emotions. Remember uncontrolled anger can be a sign of depressive illness.

For more related information visit: http://www.DepressionSymptomsTreatment.com – a site that offers advice for avoiding, coping with depression. Get professional knowledge on dealing with symptoms, drug side effects and improving your life!

Needless to say, the time after loss is volatile and confusing for most people. Unresolved issues come to the fore and questions we have not answered must often be confronted. Along with a sense of abandonment and sorrow, anger often arises. Most have little understanding of what they are going through, or what to expect in the future. Facing the unknown can produce additional fear.

Yet crisis means opportunity. When the process of grief is handled properly suffering can be diminished and symptoms that may appear later, can be forestalled.
It is even possible for the individual to grow a great deal during this time and benefit from the experience.

The more we understand what we are going through, the less out of control we will feel. At a time like this we need context, meaning and direction. We need to know what to expect and how to handle the many changes that are happening.

The Dynamics of Loss and Grief

Each person reacts differently to loss and that is fine. Some feel abandoned, others feel betrayed and afraid. Some reach out for love and comfort, while others withdraw, wanting time alone. Some go into denial and seem not to register the loss that has happened. These individuals are often unconsciously processing what has happened, not ready to face reality yet. They may fear they will be overwhelmed if they allow themselves to register what has gone on at this time.

It is best not to pressure a person to react differently. When the individual is accepted for who they are at the moment, it is easier for them to let go, and move on. This entire process takes time.
It helps greatly to realize that the pain we go through during grief is normal. It does not mean there is something wrong with us. We need not feel ashamed of or afraid of our feelings.

What Happens When We Are Grieving

When we are grieving, interest in the outside world subsides, we slow down, sleep more, our social activities seem less meaningful. This is not necessarily bad. An individual may need more time alone. In this process the grieving individual is contemplating the nature of their lives and relationships, and coming to terms with the person they’ve lost. They may be reviewing that which was left unsaid or undone.

Grief is usually most difficult when the individual has had troubled or incomplete relationship. When there have been unsolved conflicts left behind, this makes it harder to be at peace. Many spend time blaming themselves for what they did or didn’t do. Others blame doctors, helpers or family members. Casting blame is a way of removing the guilt and sorrow we feel. The sooner they are able to let go of blame and accusations, the sooner they start on the road of healing.

Let Go Of Blame

Blame, self hate and other forms of anger, are common during grief. Although it is important not to repress anger and disappointment, it is best to feel it and then let it go. Some individuals hold onto anger as a way of keeping connected to the person or situation they have lost. The truth is that anger always keeps us out of balance. It is a poison to the one who holds onto it.

Coming To Terms – Steps You Can Take

Ultimately one must reconcile oneself to what happened. Most people do all they can to avoid experiencing their feelings or situation directly. Many fear that if they face their suffering, it will make them feel small and helpless. Actually, the opposite is true. In order to deal with grief wisely, it’s best not to control or resist the feelings. When different emotions arise be gentle with yourself and patient. When these feelings are not resisted, they simply come to awareness and then fade away.

Feelings that are repressed come out later in different ways, including various physical symptoms, phobias and unwanted behaviors. If we do not address our feelings in one mode, they will appear in another – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

Through acceptance of reality, of oneself and the other, one develops the power the affirm life, and to grow. One can then give to others, and become a source of inspiration, and live a life that is meaningful. The discovery and experience of value and meaning in one’s life and one’s losses is the most potent healing of all.

Hopefully, we come to a point where forgiveness can take place, (forgiveness of the person we’ve lost, forgiveness of ourselves, the universe, or whatever it is we feel anger with). In order to do this, it is deeply helpful to realize that all of life is temporary. People possessions, situations are given to us for a short time. As we acknowledge the transitory nature of life, we can then begin to look deeper and see what it is that we never lose.

Below are a couple of exercises that are helpful in coming to terms with the relationship you have lost, and with the meaning of loss itself.

Exercise – Giving Gifts

Make a list of the gifts you received from the person, the ways they taught and inspired you. Now find ways to give those gifts to others. As you do so, not only will you be acknowledging what you received from that person, but honoring their memory and keeping their spirit alive.

Exercise – It Suffices

Whenever you think of the person and the way they fell short, what they didn’t give you, say to yourself, “It Suffices.” This is in recognition that they gave all they could, being who they were, and that you can feel satisfied with what you received. (This is an ancient Buddhist practice)

Prayer, Silence And Meditation

Of course the deepest sense of healing, peace and security can come from our connection to God, A Higher Power or our Higher Selves, (different people call it by different names). During the process of grieving it is very helpful to be able to connect with that which is ultimately meaningful to you. Either through prayer, silence, contemplation or meditation, know that you are looked after and protected and that there is a larger purpose in all that happens, though you may not be totally aware of it. Our true security, in all kinds of circumstances, comes from this kind of understanding.

Exercise

- Turn to a feeling you are having and enter a dialogue with it.
Ask, “What are you saying to me?” Listen for an answer. Ask, “What can I learn from this difficult situation? How can I grow strong?” Become silent and listen. As you do this more and more, insight and inspiration will come your way.

- Think of three times in your life when you felt particularly sad or upset. Notice how you handled it. Did you express the feeling? Did you take action on it? Did you pretend it wasn’t there? What happened to you physically? Take a moment to write all this down. Look at the connections between your feelings, actions and reactions. Become aware.

As you become more aware of the journey grief takes you on, you will grow, emotionally and spiritually. You will realize that after loss, something new is always born. Life never stops offering opportunities. Knowing this you will become a source of strength and inspiration to others at this time as well.

Cc/author/2005

Discover crucial steps that will turn a time of loss into one of strength and hope. Dr Brenda Shoshanna, psychologist, speaker, relationship expert has offered over 500 workshops on all aspects of relationships and personal development, including dealing with illness, change and loss. She is the author of many books including The Anger Diet, (30 days to Stress Free Living), McMeel, http://www.theangerdiet.com, and Journey Through Illness and Beyond, http://www.journeythroughillness.com/ Zen Miracles (Finding Peace In An Insane World), Wiley. You can contact her at: mailto:topspeaker@yahoo.com. or http://www.brendashoshanna.com

Sometimes it happens. You think things are going along well at work, or at least adequately enough, until your boss summons you to his or her office and delivers a shock: Unless your performance improves, you will soon be out of a job.

In an ideal world, news like this wouldn’t come out of the blue. You would have had indications, such as frequent and constructive feedback from your boss, repeated attempts to work with you, show you where you’re off track, and attempts to let you rectify things.

Unfortunately, not all bosses communicate effectively with their employees. Some don’t bother to deliver this kind of feedback until they’ve already determined to get rid of an employee – - and then they have conversations like this so that they can “document” that they tried to “work” with the employee on whatever the issue is. This way, they can get rid of an employee without getting into trouble with human resources. They’re just covering their tracks.

If this has happened to you recently, here are some steps to consider taking:

1. Decide if you even really like the job. If you don’t like your job, this could be reflecting in your work, even if you didn’t realize it. If you don’t like your job, consider this a sign from the Universe that it’s time to update your resume or consider a career change. Then do it.

2. If you think the job is worth fighting for, make an appointment with your boss and ask for some specifics. Does your boss think you’re not a fit for the position at all, or are there areas of your work that can be improved upon? Get a sense of what your boss is looking for in terms of outcomes. Is your boss willing to help you improve? (If not, this is a sign that your boss is just laying the foundation for a future dismissal.)

3. Silently prepare for the worst. If you’re asked to leave, you might not be permitted to go to your office for your personal items. They’ll promise they’ll send them to you, but do you want them pawing through your stuff? Take personal items home. Clear anything off your computer that isn’t work-related. (And if you’re an internet surfer, be sure to delete your cookies and internet history. Sure, they can trace it if they want to, but why make it easy for them?) And don’t make any major purchases in the near future!

4. After you’ve had some time to calm down, do some honest reflecting. If any part of your boss’s review had merit, use it as a lesson. However, also remember that your boss’s assessment is just one opinion. It’s possible that your boss is wrong about you. Usually the truth is somewhere in the middle. The worst thing you can do is beat yourself up.

You are not alone. This has happened to countless individuals. Some of the very smartest, sharpest, most successful people in the world have had bad reviews at work. There are a multitude of reasons for this:

- Sometimes a good employee goes through a difficult phase in life. They might be depressed or unhealthy, which makes it difficult to perform their best.

- Occasionally even the best and well-intentioned employee really isn’t a good fit for the position.

- Sometimes the boss has his or her own agenda. It’s not unheard of for a boss to prefer supervising people he or she hired, rather than the people hired by the boss’s predecessor. Sometimes, unconsciously or not, such a boss will work to wear employees down by constant criticism, until the employees give up and go someplace else.

There are a million other reasons why a good employee might get a bad review. The point is that it’s not to be taken personally. Learn from it, decide your course of action, and then move forward.

Holly Zenith is a professional woman by day and a netpreneur by night. Her mission is to help women move forward in their lives and make their dreams come true. Please visit her at http://hollyzenith.com/sq.html

The appraiser may be any person who observes the employee while performing a job. The appraiser has thorough knowledge about the job content, contents to be appraised, and standards of contents. The appraiser should prepare reports and make judgments without bias. Typical appraisers are supervisors, peers, subordinates, employees themselves, users of service, and consultants.

Supervisors include superiors of the employee, other superiors having knowledge about the work of the employee, and department heads or managers. General practice is that immediate superiors appraise the performance, which in turn is reviewed by the departmental head manager. This is because supervisors are responsible for managing their subordinates and they have the opportunity to observe, direct and control the subordinate continuously. Moreover, they are accountable for the successful performance of their subordinates. On the negative side, immediate supervisors, may emphasis certain aspects of employee performance to the neglect of others. Also, managers have been known to manipulate evaluations to justify their decisions on pay increases and promotions.

Peer appraisal may be reliable if the work group is stable over a reasonably long period of time and performs tasks that require interaction. However, little research has been conducted to determine how peers establish standards for evaluating others or the overall effect of peer appraisal on the group’s attitude. The concept of having superiors rated subordinates is being used in most organizations today, especially in developed countries. For instance in most US universities students evaluate a professor’s performance in the classroom. Such a novel method can be useful in other organizational settings too, provided the relationships between superiors and subordinates are cordial.

If individuals understand the objectives they are expected to achieve and the standards by which they are to be evaluated, they are to a great extent in the best position to appraise their own performance. Employee performance in service organizations relating to behaviors, promptness, speed in doing the job and accuracy, can be better judged by the customers or users of services.

Performance Appraisals provides detailed information on How to Write a Performance Appraisal, Job Performance Appraisals, Performance Appraisal Software, Performance Appraisal Systems and more. Performance Appraisals is affiliated with Manufacturing Performance Management.

Disclaimer: None of the content of this article should be considered medical or psychological advice. You should consult with your health care professional for specific advice relating to your medical and psychological questions or conditions.

An important issue for Psychologists, Pediatricians, and other specialists working with children is physical and mental development of children and adolescents. There are many age periodizations in child’s development and going through every period, child learns and gets new abilities. However, children with chronic illnesses like diabetes, sickle cell anemia, severe asthma, cancer and others cannot go through regular physical and mental development. Due to special treatment they cannot go to ordinary school like healthy children, sometimes they have to stay in hospitals for a long period of time. How to help children with illnesses develop mentally and not drop behind children of the same age?

1. Create special home or hospital-educational plan and organize short mathematics, logics and reading lessons every day or week. Together with your child you can make this time very interesting and useful. New information, which you can find for your child, will help him or her to feel completeness of life and self-efficiency.

2. Create homework assignments for your child. Begin with easy arithmetical (or any other subject) tasks. Doing it successfully will help your child to raise self-confidence and interest to new knowledge.

3. Even small tasks which demand accuracy (for example, measuring table in centimeters or inches) can be very interesting if you explain that every item around us should be planned and measured very accurately first, before constructing. Manual tasks demanding attention and accuracy are very useful, because they increase ability to concentrate and regulate attention.

4. Be patient and teach your child to be patient. This will help your child to be optimistic during treatment process and have positive attitude to the environment – some of the major components of psychological and physical health.

5. Contributing to your child’s mental development will help your child feel all your love. Receiving interesting information, positive attitude and cheerful mood create a special condition to improve health and stop illness progress. Help your child be interested in knowing more and more about this world, prompt him or her to be healthy and you will see positive changes in your child’s life.

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